


Not to Me

by Firewalkwithme133



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Ben Solo, Alpha Finn (Star Wars), Alpha Leia Organa, Alpha Poe Dameron, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Ben Solo Is An Idiot, Beta Han Solo, Beta Rey (Star Wars), Eventual Rey/Ben Solo, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, No hidden Omegas here, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Old Movies, Omega Luke Skywalker, Omega Rose Tico, POV Rey (Star Wars), Rey is a Beta and stays a Beta, Rey is an idiot, Rey thinks she'll be an old maid basically, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27693086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firewalkwithme133/pseuds/Firewalkwithme133
Summary: Rey is the only Beta in her group of friends, and she's tired of being alone.One day she meets Ben Solo and falls in love.There's only one problem: Ben is an Alpha.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kaydel Ko Connix/Ben Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 73





	Not to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write Beta Rey and just leave her as she is :)

Ben Solo is dating an Omega.

Her name is Kaydel, and she’s one of the prettiest women Rey has ever seen. Her nails are perfectly manicured, always painted a delicate pink. Her hair is always clean – sometimes she’ll show up with bouncy curls – other times she’ll have it perfectly straightened down her back.

She wears nothing but dresses: sun dresses in the summer and spring, and sweater dresses in the winter and fall. Every now and then she’ll throw a pencil skirt in – but most of the time, it’s just “too tight” or “too sexy.” Kaydel always wants to appear feminine and soft for him.

And she doesn’t even have to try. Because she’s an Omega.

Rey on the other hand is a Beta.

 _Her_ nails are always chewed down to the skin, hardly ever painted, and when they are, she leaves the nail polish on for weeks, leaving behind unattractive chips of black and red (her favorite colors).

 _Her_ hair is frequently unwashed, a result of the lack of time she has working two jobs, struggling to pull herself through college.

She prefers to wear pants, especially in her line of work: being a mechanic isn’t exactly the most feminine job she could have picked. And wearing dresses at the Cantina had unfortunately encouraged one too many customers to pinch her behind. Even if she’s well placed behind the bar.

And Rey has to try so hard. Because she’s a Beta.

And Rey is in love with Ben Solo.

*****

It all started one Saturday night while she was bartending.

It was a normal shift with the usual patrons. Luke sat at the far end of the bar away from all the racket, sipping on his cosmo ( _so what – only real men can drink cosmos_ ). He didn’t mind a good daquiri either. Typical Omega.

That was around 9:00pm.

Around 10:00pm, her coworkers Chewie and Han came in, always boisterous, always buzzed (they pre-gamed as well as any college student). They would sit purposefully next to Luke, just to get on his nerves. They were all old friends.

At 10:15pm her best friends Finn, Poe, and Rose came in to keep her company, regaling her with tales from their various jobs and reminiscing over whatever their last friendly outing was.

And the night would go on for the next few hours while Rey would watch her best friend Finn dance with his beautiful girlfriend. Poe would search with success (as always) for a dance partner (his moves _always_ dirty).

Then one day – _the_ day – Ben Solo came in, hair brushed back, soft and silky in the low light of the bar. His eyes were a deep brown with specks of green, and she found her attention on his plush lips, utterly kissable, perfect lips. He wore a three-piece suit, an outfit that sent her heart into overdrive when she saw him in it. When he walked by the bar his cologne was heavenly, nodes of amber (like his eyes), sandalwood, and vanilla wafted in her direction.

It excited her, and she felt giddy knowing that he was a Beta like her.

Surely no Alpha would bother wearing cologne when he had his own signature scent, drifting out for any potential mate to smell.

So that meant she had a chance, for once she had a chance to get a guy she liked.

It had been so hard for her growing up. Most of the population were either Alpha or Omega, which left Betas in a sad and desperate position.

Rey was certain that her friends were on the verge of marriage (she caught Finn scrolling through engagement rings on his phone the night before). Which made sense because once an Alpha found an Omega he was compatible with, he would settle things quickly.

Poe was an Alpha too, constantly led by his libido, though he still hadn’t found the right woman (he was a perfectionist).

So that left Rey the only single one of the group. She had a boyfriend in high school, but it wasn’t a deep relationship – a typical fling for people their age: kisses in the cafeteria, under the bleachers, and in the hallways when no one was looking.

It was her first sexual experience too. It was awkward, but that was to be expected. He was a virgin too, coming with only two strokes inside her.

At least she got the experience done and out of the way.

And sex didn’t cross her mind much these days, not in any real way. Some nights when feeling a bit too lonely, she’d delicately sneak her hand into her underwear and get herself off. But afterward it usually made her feel even worse.

So sexual fantasies weren’t usually something she was into until Ben Solo walked into the bar.

She tensed as he searched the room, likely for his date, she thought, but she was hopeful seeing that he was alone.

Finally, his eyes lit up with recognition as he approached Han, to her great shock, who just happened to be her boss.

“Come here kid I want you to meet the girl I’ve been telling you about.” Han turned to Rey, and she was so nervous, she could feel her hands grow clammy.

Ben reached over the bar and shook her hand, “Hi I’m Ben. You must be Rey. It’s nice to meet you.”

Of course – as if his looks weren’t perfect already – his voice was _heaven_ , a deep, somewhat scratchy sound that somehow both calmed and excited her. Like whiskey by the fire or snow on a late winter evening. It wrapped around her like a blanket.

Struggling to keep her cool, she reached forward and placed her hand in his and returned the greeting.

His smile was the next thing she remembered before she unfortunately (and embarrassingly) slipped onto some melting ice on the floor.

Her bruised bottom was nothing compared to the humiliation she felt, but before she could save face his large body was already over the bar, lifting her up like she was nothing.

Cradling her in his arms, she looked into his face and took note of the beauty marks scattered here and there ( _I wonder what it would feel like to kiss each one)._

“Whoa, that was quite a tumble. Are you okay?” he asked, his warmth breath just reaching her mouth.

She was on the verge of responding _absolutely yes_ , _now that I’m in your arms_ , when she saw it:

His gland – well hidden under his collar before, was now visible.

It only took a few seconds for her heart to go from rapidly fluttering to pulsing at a snail’s pace, practically dying inside her.

 _Alpha_.

Ben Solo was an Alpha. And Rey, once again, was reminded that good things just weren’t meant for her.

She jumped down from his arms and walked down the bar, pretending to check on a customer, shouting back, “I’m fine, thanks.” _I’m devastated, thanks_.

*****

The next Monday Rey was underneath the hood of an old Chevy when she heard a customer walk through the door behind her.

“Excuse me?”

Thinking her co-worker was still at the front desk, she blatantly ignored him and went back to work.

“Um…Rey?”

The voice had come closer, hovering right behind her, and she was so startled that her head hit the hood of the car and she cursed.

And of course, it was none other than Ben Solo. How was it that every time she saw him, she managed to embarrass herself? Not to mention the fact that she was covered in grease and dirt.

Even though the shop was Han’s, Rey had never seen his son come to visit. Not even for a minute – and she’d been working there for two years. Han rarely spoke about his son, and Rey got the impression that they weren’t on speaking terms. Which is why it was a shock to see him at the bar just a few days ago. It was definitely a shock now.

He was just as well-groomed as he was the night before – still dressed in a sharp black suit – that heady cologne wafting into the air.

So handsome.

_No Rey…. let it go….you can’t have him._

He smiled at her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I actually wondered if….”

“If you’re looking for Han he’s not here today. Sorry.” She didn’t _mean_ to sound so dismissive, but what else was she supposed to do? She had no interest in being friends with him. It would only hurt her more in the long run.

It didn’t deter him. “Actually Rey, I was wondering if you’d look at my car. It’s making a funny noise – I can’t seem to figure it out.”

Great. He’d come here expecting his Dad, who was conveniently off for the day, and he’s stuck with her instead. She’s sure he’d rather be anywhere else.

“Well, I don’t know if I have time. I’ve got a lot of customers ahead of you.” That time she _did_ mean to be harsh.

But he still wouldn’t get the hint.

“Please? It’ll only take a second.”

Of course, with that voice how could she resist? Being rude to the boss’s son may not be the best course of action anyway.

“Fine.” She threw her wrench town into her toolbox and motioned for him to lead the way.

She followed him outside to his car in the parking lot and asked him to turn the engine over. Nothing out of the ordinary. It sounded perfect, in fact.

He stepped out of the car. “Well? What’s the verdict?”

“There’s nothing wrong.” She looked under the hood again. “Everything looks good to me. What kind of sound were you hearing?”

His eyes squinted in the sun. “I don’t know, it just sounded off to me. I guess I’m a little paranoid.”

He made her come all the way out here for _this_? 

“Well, you’re good to go. Would you like me to leave a message for your Dad, or….”

He shuffled his black leather shoes over the pavement. “No that’s it. Thanks for checking Rey.”

“Sure.” She walked away and didn’t look back, just like that first night at the bar.

*****

That next Saturday she was working the bar again, and it was a busy night – college night always was. Most of them were under 21, only there to dance and hang out – a lot of them from fraternities and sororities. Good kids for the most part. They didn’t go to her school. She came into college late anyway.

But there was always that one bunch (usually a fraternity) that was too rowdy, too demanding, and highly inappropriate, always throwing dirty jokes her way, asking for her phone number, causing a ruckus when she would cut them off.

Rey was a tough girl. She’d gone through her fair share of foster parents that were clearly unable to parent, the worst being Unkar Plutt, the neighborhood crook, who took pride in his junking business, taking in dead vehicles off the poor and making a hefty profit in the process. That’s where she learned everything she knew about cars.

So, she was used to putting up with far worse. A group of immature college students was nothing.

What she wasn't prepared for was the now constant presence of Ben Solo. 

He’d taken to coming in every Saturday after work, taking a seat with his father and Chewie. He and Luke were still on the mend. Apparently, they’d had some big blow up ten years ago, but Han didn’t like to talk about it. He was always about moving on. That’s the kind of person Rey wanted to be.

“So, I said to the guy, if you think I’m going to stand here and haggle with you over a car part for an hour you’re crazy.”

Chewie chuckled. “What’d he say to that?”

Han took a swig of his Maker’s Mark, “Nothing because I shoved him out the door before he could respond.”

That made Chewie guffaw, and Rey laughed. “I can’t believe I wasn’t working that day,” she said.

“Ah, well. That’s how it always goes. Guy had a killer car though. A ’64 Mustang. Beautiful. Shame the owner was such an asshole. Speaking of which you should see this guy’s car,” he points over to Ben. “Total…..what do you kids call it Rey?”

She knows exactly what he’s talking about. “Bougie?”

Han throws his head back laughing. “Exactly. _Bougie_ as hell.”

“But wait. I’ve seen Ben’s car!” she said.

Her boss gave her his famous grin, “Oh _really_? How did that happen?” He elbowed Ben, who was now shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“It was nothing. I came by to see you, but you weren’t there.” He downs his whiskey reminding Rey so much of Han. But why is he lying?

“No, Ben came by because he said his car was making a strange noise. I checked and didn’t hear anything though. Sounded perfect to me. He didn’t tell you?”

Crossing his arms Han replied, “Why in the world would Ben go to you to get anything looked at? This kid knows as much about cars as I do. Hell, I taught him how to change a tire when he was seven years old.”

Everyone looked at Ben expecting a response. He deflected, “Well, it’s like she said. There was nothing wrong with it anyway.”

Chewie reached over and gave him a light smack on the arm. “Sure Benny. We believe you.”

This all made Rey very uncomfortable. Maybe he was just making fun of her. Typical Alpha stuff. They always looked down on Betas, seeing them as inherently less than both Alphas and Omegas. Maybe he just wanted to show her where she stood when it came to designations. But why he would be so cruel was a mystery to her.

She walked away without commenting, fighting the sting in her eyes. And she didn’t look back.

*****

"Ben is _really_ hot."

Finn scowled at Rose while dipping his tortilla chip into the salsa placed at the center of the table. 

Rose picked up on his annoyance, but comforted him in her typical Omega way, "No, no it's not what you think. I mean he would be good for Rey. I think they would make the cutest couple!"

Rey was in the restroom, which gave Rose the perfect opportunity to discuss a setup for her best friend. She was tired of seeing Rey alone and thought that if she had a boyfriend things would be a bit more even. Rose never wanted to make Rey feel like a third wheel, but sometimes it was inevitable. They had once considered Rey for Poe, but he told them privately that he just couldn't date a Beta. He wasn't cut out for it.

Rose and Finn had become close with Ben. He came to the bar now so often that they couldn't help but get to know him, especially since he was Han's son, and they _loved_ Han. 

"Stay out of it Rose." He looked around the corner to make sure Rey wasn’t coming back out. "Rey is a Beta. There's no way and Alpha can be with a Beta, and you know it. I mean, how would the sex even work? She can't take the....you _know_..."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know, but there are plenty of Alphas that date Betas, and they're perfectly happy. And Rey deserves to be happy."

"What about his ruts? What about the urge to mate someone? And you know I'm all about breaking tradition, but I can tell you right now that an Alpha wants a girl that's...well...a girl that's a bit more feminine than Rey. And let's be honest. Rey's not the girliest girl we know." 

This is true, Rose knows, but to her it shouldn't be a deterrent. Rey had been there for her since they met in high school - through her parents' divorce, fights with her sister, breakups - Rey was her best friend and she wouldn't have her settle just because she's a Beta. 

"Whatever. That might be a little true. I mean, she does sort of give off a scruffy vibe, but she's cute! And pretty! And smart! Shouldn't love conquer all _anyway_?"

"Uh oh. Who's in love now?" Rey came around to take her seat next to Rose. 

"Oh um...no one," Rose says. "We were just talking about a movie. Ready to order?" 

Rey seemed to buy it, so Rose let it go, especially after Finn gave her a warning look. 

*****

It was a Wednesday night and Rey had been called into work because her coworker Jannah called out sick. Normally she would have said no, but she’d done all her classwork and needed the money. Aside from that, weekdays at the bar were far more preferable to the weekends because the customers were daily regulars who just wanted to drink a lot of liquor without being bothered by a lot of noise and amusement.

Things were slow, so she took to counting inventory again, occasionally stepping out to make sure everyone was taken care of. Next thing she knew, _he_ was sitting on a barstool beaming at her like the sun.

Confused at seeing him there she asked (attempting to be as professional as possible – _can’t get caught up in those feelings again_ ), “How are you? What can I get you to drink?”

Ben’s mouth was open like a fish, “You do remember me, don’t you? Han’s son?”

_Of course, I remember you. I only dream of you every night – against my will and better judgment._

“Yes, of course I do. Not used to seeing you here though in the middle of the week. Bad day?”

He chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “You could say that. My CFO is driving me absolutely crazy. It’s the fourth quarter and we can’t seem to….” He stopped himself. “God, sorry. I’m already boring you.”

Rey thought that Ben Solo could say anything really, and it would be interesting to her.

“No, no. I’m sure it’s more exciting than hearing about my job.”

“I don’t know. I think working in a bar might give you more stories to tell.”

She really didn’t know how to respond. Every time he looked at her with those eyes, she felt her knees give a little, and her heart start to race. It was almost thudding out of her chest.

“I don’t know about that. It’s really more exhausting than anything else. I get through most nights unscathed.”

And interesting – she couldn’t be sure, but it looked like a faint touch of red formed on his cheeks before he said, “Well, anyway, I came here to see if you wanted to go to a movie with me on Friday.”

You could have knocked Rey over with a feather. She was frozen in time, unable to process it: “You want to go see a movie…. with _me_?”

Ben looked nervous, and tried to backtrack, “It’s okay – you don’t have to say yes, it’s just that Han, well, my Dad told me you’re really into old movies, and the old theatre downtown is playing _The Heiress_ , and he said it was your favorite.”

Was Ben Solo asking her out on a date? To go see her favorite movie of all time? _No, no_ she scolded herself. _He’s just trying to be nice Rey. He knows your boss, and he’s trying to be friendly. He only came here because he had a bad day._

Every time she told herself that, though, it ate her up a little inside.

But he hadn’t said it was a date, and it was all harmless. Why not?

“Sure. I’d love to!”

The smile he gave her was bright, and miraculous and beaming, and Rey swore it lit up the whole room.

“Okay. Can I have your number?” He took a napkin from dispenser nearby and slid it over to her. With shaking hands, she wrote it down and slid it back. 

“Thank you, Rey. I’ll call you soon.” He rose from his seat and as he was leaving, she yelled out, “But didn’t you want a drink?” He was too far out the door to hear her, so she went back into the freezer trying to piece together the puzzle that was Ben Solo.

*****

“It’s a date, Rey.”

Her best friend was really starting to get on her nerves. “No, _Rose_ , it’s not a date. It can’t be date because…”

“You’re a Beta, I know, I know, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you! I’ve seen the way he looks at you Rey. He’s totally smitten. I mean he’s not looked at one single Omega since he spotted you. Don’t you think that’s odd?”

“No,” Rey said.

“Okay so the fact that he visits you at the bar now twice a week, and never leaves with an Omega when there are plenty hanging around – that means nothing to you?”

“No, it doesn’t. He probably has a girlfriend at home, chained to his bed, ready to wait on him hand and foot.” She couldn’t help but spew it out, but it was true. An Alpha like him would naturally have fulfilled his dream of having the most willingly submissive Omega possible.

Rose’s eyebrows raised so high they practically touched the bathroom ceiling. “Are you kidding right now? If he had that, he wouldn’t be taking you out to a movie. I _know_ because I have an Alpha. There’s no way that would ever happen in any universe.” Rose ran back into her bedroom and pulled out her cutest dress. “Wear this. I’m begging you. Do not embarrass me by wearing your work clothes out on a date.”

“Not a date!” Rey pulled on her jean jacket and gave her friend a quick hug. “Will it shut you up if I call you afterward and tell you how our _friendly_ outing went?”

Rose thought on it and gave in, “Alright. Just please keep an open mind, okay?” she begged.

*****

It was a magical night, the first of many they would share, because it turned out that Ben was just as obsessed with old movies as she was. Rey’s preference leaned toward Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland, while his was more Film Noir (she found it boring and let him know well into _Citizen Kane_ that she could barely keep her eyes open).

“Rey, it’s considered the best movie of all time. And you’re seriously going to tell me that it’s _boring_?”

“Yep. Totally the worst movie ever. A movie can be good and be entertaining at the same time. I have no patience for snobby views when it comes to movies.”

She was still finishing off her popcorn while they walked away from the theater, making their way to their usual ice cream shop down the street. It had become their routine. Every Friday he picked her up for a movie, they argued over the movie, and ended the night with ice cream. Rey ordered their usual, because as they found out, they both had the same favorite flavor, Butter Pecan. And Rey practically jumped up and down, because she’d never met anyone who liked that ice cream as much as she did.

She found she could handle being his friend. After getting to know him, she realized he was too special to brush off. In fact, she’d been growing closer to him than she was to her other friends, one of which always had something sarcastic to say about their relationship.

“Rey I really think you’re making a big mistake. He’s an Alpha. I thought you weren’t going to get involved like this. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I care about you” he looked over to Rose and Poe, “we care about you. Can you promise us you’ll be careful with this?”

Rose corrected her boyfriend, “I am on your side Rey. You’re happier than I’ve ever seen you. Don’t listen to grumpy over here. He’s just jealous that you’re spending less time with him.”

Rey reached over and stroked Finn’s hand. “I promise I’m okay. I’ll guard my heart. I appreciate you being honest with me though. Love you.”

Finn didn’t believe it but knew arguing with Rey on the point was fruitless. “Love you too.”

Poe didn’t care though. He had no filter, and his tendency to be uncaringly blunt was shown at every opportunity: “Let me just ask you a question Rey.” He cut another piece of steak and began to chew. “What does he do while you’re out on these “friendly” dates? Does he notice any other women while you’re out? Omegas?”

Thinking on it, she realized they had run into a few Omegas here and there.

Not all of them were subtle about their designations, letting their glands lay exposed to anyone.

But Ben always acted normally despite it. His attention was always on her.

“Nope. At least I haven’t seen him act that way.”

Poe rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he does when you’re not looking. Finn is right. Honestly, I don’t think you should speak to him anymore, but it’s your decision.”

She downed the last of her whiskey (a favorite she also shared with Ben Solo) and dismissed him, “You’re right. It’s _my_ decision.”

*****

It was one of the worst days of her life.

It was another night at the bar, and Rey was swamped with customers. 

She'd woken up with a migraine after a long night of studying for one of her finals, and she'd nearly come in to work late, which threw her whole day off. 

Her boss was pissed at her for miscounting the inventory, not leaving them with enough ice, and the patrons coming in were a bit more demanding than usual. 

Everything was culminating into one big dark storm cloud threatening to unleash a downpour. 

The bell by the door rang, and as it did, it brought in that inevitable deluge. 

Ben Solo walked in. Rose and Finn turned to wave him over, and Rey smiled in anticipation, but then the air was sucked out of her lungs when a pretty girl came up next to him and looped her arm through his. 

"What's this?" Han turned to address his son. 

"Um...everyone this is Kaydel. Kaydel this is my Dad, Chewie, Finn, Rose, and Rey. Rey works with my Dad at his auto shop."

Rey felt her stomach drop. She'd not heard anything about Kaydel before, at least not from Han. 

And looking over at this girl Rey spotted what she was looking for: a gland. It was hidden under a pretty white ribbon on her neck, but it peeked out just enough for Rey to notice. 

_Omega_

She scolded herself. This was exactly why she didn't want to get attached to Ben Solo. And now she was being introduced to her as the "auto shop" girl. It was so demeaning. He didn’t even acknowledge their friendship.

Kaydel had on a light pink chiffon dress with matching pink nails and her hair was up halfway, lose curls bouncing behind her. Her complexion was pristine.

She gave a light wave, “Nice to meet you all.” She and Ben sat down, and Rey gave Ben his usual whiskey.

She didn’t bother to ask what Kaydel wanted. Usually that was the _Alpha’s_ job.

So, after she placed (maybe slammed) Ben’s drink down in front of him, she ran down to the end of the bar to serve her other customers. And if she took her time in mixing their drinks to avoid seeing Ben with his new Omega, how would they know? And if she happened to feel a prick behind her eyes it was just because they were watery from all the hours she’d stayed up studying.

But eventually Ben beckoned her over and she couldn’t just ignore him.

“Kaydel wants a drink. What do you suggest?”

Now Rey was not usually like this, but this had been an exhausting, horrible day and he had picked today of all days to bring her in there. So, she did something that she would later regret.

“We have a new vodka that just came in yesterday. It’s very popular.”

Kaydel tucked a lose hair behind her ear and looked nervous. “I don’t know. I usually don’t drink anything straight up. Benny should I do it?”

_Benny?_

Now this girl acted like she was part of the family. She might as well have moved in with the Solos. Rey fought to keep her rage under control.

“Well, I’m sure it’s fine.” Ben said. Have whatever you want. You know you don’t need to ask me for permission.”

“Oh.” Kaydel’s face was downcast at that answer. Omegas liked being told what to do by Alphas, so it surprised Rey that Ben wasn’t playing the part. 

Kaydel still looked unsure, tapping her perfect nails on the dirty surface of the bar, but finally nodded, which gave Rey the go-ahead.

Rey wasn’t lying. They really had just received a new vodka brand. But it wasn’t exactly what she made it out to be.

Naga Chili Vodka was the hottest brand of vodka in the world, two-hundred times hotter than a jalapeno pepper. She’d begged her boss to order it because she’d seen YouTube videos of people actually crying after taking a shot, it was so hot. It seemed like a cool thing to have – at least to mix into a nice cocktail when someone was feeling brave.

But she never ordered it with the intention of pouring shots for people. 

So, it really wasn’t fair to do this to someone she hardly knew. Hell, someone as large and broad as Ben wouldn’t take it well. But she had nothing to lose. Her friends were engaged (a bomb they had dropped on her just the day before), Poe had found a new girlfriend, an Omega named Bazine, and Rey was utterly alone. A loser. The time for feeling sorry was over. Her self-destruct mode was on, full force, and she was ready to unleash every bad feeling she’d bottled up for weeks, no _years_.

And what’s worse is that her best friend, the guy she cared about most in the world didn’t even bother to tell her he was dating someone.

All bets were off.

With a sickeningly sweet smile, she handed the drink over, and Kaydel took it hesitantly, swooshing it in her hands.

“I diluted it with water, so it’ll go down easier.” Rey winked, not feeling one bit sorry.

Kaydel breathed a sigh of relief, and brought the glass up to her lips, and Rey waited in anticipation for the inevitable freak-out, and she wasn’t disappointed.

“Oh my God!” Kaydel jumped up and began to fan herself, and Rey fought hard not to laugh.

Ben stood up quickly and placed his hand on her back, “What’s wrong?”

Kaydel was sputtering, fighting to get out, “Water! I need water! It burns! It burns!”

Rey feigned concern, “I'll get some. Just a second.” She went over and poured a glass with water with extra ice and passed it over. Kaydel guzzled it down, but kept fanning herself. “More, please! Please!” Sweat was now pouring down her face, and it took every ounce of self control Rey had to keep herself from smiling.

“Get her some milk!” Han shouted, and Rey went to the back to pull some out, pouring her several glasses, though this Omega would need more than that to recover, at least as far as the YouTube videos showed her.

She knocked them back as well, and finally took a deep breath. “You said…you said that was just vodka. You didn’t say anything about it being spicy!”

Rey lifted her shoulders, “That’s odd. I must have picked the wrong bottle. Hang on.” She bent down, pretending to check the bottle under the counter. “Oh dear, I did pour you the wrong one. I’m so sorry.” She poured her another glass of milk as Ben tried to comfort her.

Her Ben.

Rey looked down the bar at Rose, who gave her a knowing look. Rose knew Rey was an excellent bartender. She’d been doing it for years. There was no way she would make such a big mistake. Her face was hard as stone. “You know I think we better head home. Finn?” Finn looked over and nodded, “Sounds good to me. See you later Rey.”

With a little wave, feeling nervous, Rey said goodbye, knowing full well that Rose would be telling Finn about her “mistake,” and she almost hoped they did. Anything to further isolate herself. She’d tried to be happy for the couple, but since the announcement of their engagement she admittedly was jealous, struggling to deal with her friends moving on with their lives. She might as well let them go forward without her.

“I think we should get you to Urgent Care, Kay,” Ben said, patting her back because at this point Kaydel had gone from fanning her face to nearly coughing up her lungs.

“Alpha,” she turned her face into his coat, and Ben started walking her out the door when Rey called out, “Ben? Will I see you Friday?”

He looked back with a frown, “Sorry Rey. Can I take a rain check? I’ll text you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ben walked out, his arm around his new girl, and Rey ran to the back of the bar and cried.

*****

It had been a few weeks since the vodka shot heard round the world, and Rey had tried in vain to meet up with Ben, but he just kept dodging her.

 **Rey: Hey B! I haven’t seen you in so long** **☹ do you want to go out this weekend? You can pick the movie** **😊**

**Ben: Hi Rey. No, I’m sorry I’m really busy with work this weekend. Maybe next week?**

This exchange took place every week for a month, and finally Rey gave up on texting him. If he wanted to be her friend, she’d be there. But she wasn’t going to keep humiliating herself.

One day at the shop, she and Han were joking around during a break when Kaydel walked in.

“Well, hello Kay. How are you? Where’s my son?”

“Oh, he’s fine. He’s at work, but he said he left his phone charger here the other day. Do you have it?”

Han bent down and pulled out the cord, handing it over. “Ready for that trip?” he asked.

Kaydel shook her head enthusiastically, “Oh yeah! The cabin looks really nice. I think a week away is perfect for him. He really needs the rest. Thank you for letting us stay there.”

“No problem kid. Tell my son I said hello.”

“Will do.”

Kaydel walked out and Rey struggled to parse out what was going on in her head. Ben had been here? Why had he chosen the one day she was always off? He couldn’t even be bothered to pick up his own charger? Better yet, she could have taken it to him herself. And a week at the cabin? A family cabin? A week was a long time…. enough time for them to spend it during a heat.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Han asked. He walked over and put his hand on her shoulder. “You’re looking a little pale. You want to take the rest of the day off? I don’t mind – we aren’t busy today.”

“Yeah. Yeah that – that would be great thanks.” She couldn’t even look him in the eye. It was like she was frozen in time.

The next day she didn’t show up for work. She texted Han and apologized.

The day after that she didn’t show up. No text was sent.

Han called on her the third day, and she blocked his number.

It was probably time to find a new bar to work in too. She’d start looking next week. She still had some money saved, so it wasn’t something she worried about.

After skipping her shift at the bar Saturday, Rose called her, but she didn’t pick up:

“ _Hey girl. I was just calling to check on you. Are you okay? I was at the bar, and Han told me you haven’t been showing up for work. And you weren’t here tonight either. I know we haven’t been talking much, but you know I love you. Give me a call when you can. Bye.”_

Rey wasn’t scared of fending off Rose. Rose would give up after a while.

But Finn, on the other hand, would come to her door and demand that she let him in. And she couldn’t have that. So, she called Rose back to tell her she’d been sick, but that she’d be back to work in no time. Rose then informed her that Han had invited everyone over to his house to host an engagement party for her and Finn, and could Rey come?

And feeling guilty already for ignoring her, Rey said yes.

When that day arrived, she decided that Ben Solo would not be ignoring her this time. She put on the sexiest dress she could find in her closet, a pretty purple, with black high heels. And for the first time in a long time, she put on makeup – no black eyeshadow or bright red lipstick. Just a simple lip gloss and black eyeliner.

Walking up the driveway to the Solo home, she was nervous, especially to see Han. She’d not spoken with him since she’d stopped showing up for work, and she was admittedly embarrassed by her behavior. But she couldn’t go back in time to fix it.

Thankfully, Rose came out to meet her on the porch.

“Rey Kanata I missed you so much!.” Rose nearly squeezed the life out of her, and she could hardly breathe in the dress she wearing as it was.

Rose whistled. “Girl. You look good. Who did you dress up for?”

“No one. I just wanted to look nice.”

“Hmm. Okay whatever you say. Come on in! Everyone’s here.”

Rey took a deep breath and steadied herself, willing her heart to _slow down_.

She’d only been to Han’s house a few times, occasionally for a Sunday dinner and a holiday every now and then. It was nice house, mostly paid for by his Alpha wife Leia, a former Senator. Han was a Beta, like Rey.

Rose led her out onto the patio, and it was like a fairyland. Lights were strung up along the fence around the perimeter and Leia was already handing out cocktails.

“Rey! There you are!” Leia ran up to hug her, and everyone turned back to look.

Leia stood back to take a look at her. “Rey you get prettier every time I see you. Come sit with me.” She pulled her over to a chair by the pool, but before she could, Rey spotted a familiar head of dark hair coming out onto the patio.

With his Omega in tow.

“Benny!” Leia ran up to give her son a hug and reached up to ruffle his hair, thoroughly embarrassing him. He’d always joked with Rey that his mother still treated him like he was a little boy. “ _But you love it, don’t you_?” she’d joke. She wondered if Kaydel knew that.

And lo and behold, she too had shown up in a purple dress, but hers was more soft than sexy. A typically innocent and sweet Omega.

Rey looked frantically to see if her gland had been broken.

Still intact.

Ben must have been either horrified or disgusted to see her there at his parents’ house, especially after she’d ghosted Han, but when Leia brought Rey forward to say hello, he quietly returned the greeting and walked over to say hi to Finn and Rose.

“There’s my girl.”

It was the voice Rey was dreading all night: Han’s.

Rey didn’t know what to say.

“Well don’t just stand there. Come give me a hug!” Tears pooled in her eyes, and she struggled to keep it together.

Han pulled back to look at her, and said with concern, “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. We can talk about it. Don’t worry. Whatever’s going on we’ll fix it, okay honey?”

She held onto his arms tightly. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Typical Han. He could read her like a book, and he knew she was on the verge of breaking down. But this was just what she needed. It was an unspoken forgiveness that made everything right again. Well, almost everything.

“Good girl.” They both took a seat and the party went on, Rey staying on one side of the patio, Ben on the other. She was absolutely dumbfounded. He’d not said a word to her except ‘hello.’ He didn’t have an explanation for ghosting her – he didn’t even try to make things right.

So, after a few glasses of Maker’s Mark (she and Han decided to have their own little drinking competition) she was feeling a little tipsy – and a little mouthy. All inhibitions were gone, along with her filter, and it was only a matter of time before something would slip out.

“So, Ben, what have you and Kaydel been up to lately?” Leia asked.

“Oh! Not much,” Kaydel answered. She rubbed her hand along his thigh and Rey fumed. “Benny took me to the old movie theater downtown last week, and we saw the most boring movie ever. What was it called sweetie? It was about a young woman who was a total spinster, I mean hideous. Everything she does is awkward and ridiculous.”

“ _The Heiress_?” Rey said, and Kaydel looked over in surprise. “Yes! That’s the one. Ugh. Just awful. So dull, and she didn’t even end up with the guy, and it was basically all her fault. All she had to do was put a little makeup on and dress a little nicer.”

Rey didn’t know what was worse: the fact that her former best friend had taken his new Omega out to see her favorite movie, or that this stupid Omega had just trashed all over it.

The whiskey didn’t stop to figure it out, because it propelled her into a raging diatribe:

“That’s not what the movie’s about at all,” Rey laughed, almost uncontrollably, shaking her head. “It’s about a young woman who grew up with an overbearing father who made her ill, constantly comparing her to her dead mother.” Rey slammed her drink down onto the table, and leaned back in the chair, crossing her arms, “Catherine lacks confidence in herself. She seeks the approval of everyone around her to the point where it debilitates her. She can’t even recognize when someone is taking advantage of her. She’s so starved for affection, that she’s blind to Morris Townsend’s true intentions in asking for her hand. And she ends up alone because she chooses to be. Because she realizes that her father is wrong about her. That _she_ is wrong about who she is. She’s alone because she has agency. She chooses to be alone!”

When had she jumped up out of her seat?

Han was on the verge of guffawing, three sheets to the wind. Oh, how he loved Rey.

“Rey.” Ben was looking up at her with dark eyes.

Rey scoffed. “I mean honestly. Any idiot could have gotten the point of that movie.”

“Rey.” That time it was Rose, and Rey remembered, just for a moment where she was, because the alcohol was making her eyes blur. Rose continued, “Rey that’s enough.”

Kaydel kept her eyes down on the floor, but Rey would have none of it. Who did this privileged Omega think she was? And who did Ben think he was to sit there and pretend like he hadn’t been ignoring her for weeks?

“Oh of course. Let’s have it Rose. I want to hear all about how I’m ruining your special night. Go on. But just remember that after this you’ll be going home with your Alpha. Not all of us can be sweet, precious, Omegas!”

Han’s giggling stopped when Rey picked up her glass and threw it onto the ground, shattering it.

She’d had enough. This was her breaking point. She ran through the house and slammed the front door behind her, not caring that she was well over the legal limit. She ran towards her car, and was about to get in when she heard him.

“Rey _stop_!”

It was that voice. That deep voice that sent her heart into overdrive. That voice that she’d spent every Friday night arguing with. That voice that swept her off her feet that first night in the bar.

“Rey!” he grabbed her arms roughly and forced her to look his way. “What’s wrong with you, huh? I’ve never seen you act like this before!” he yelled.

“Are you kidding me?! You have some nerve Ben Solo! Leave me alone. I’ve got *hiccup* I’ve to go home.” She stumbled down the driveway, and in the process twisted her ankle, falling onto the pavement. Because of course she never wore high heels and didn’t know how to wear them sober, let alone after knocking back a few whiskeys.

He bent down and scooped her up, bringing her over to a bench in the front garden.

“Ben? Is she okay?” Leia called from the porch.

He bent down in front of her. “She’s okay. Give us just a few minutes,” he said.

Leia smiled and went back into the house, and Rey made to get up again, but Ben pushed her back down.

She put her head in her hands. “Go away Ben.”

He took her hands gently away from her face, and she was mortified because she was sure her eyeliner and mascara were running down her face.

“No. I’m not going away Rey. What possessed you to say all of that? That’s not the Rey I know.” He wiped her cheeks.

“I don’t know. Maybe it was the alcohol. Or the fact that my best friend has ignored me for weeks, and I don’t know why. Why, Ben? What did I ever do to you? Is there something wrong with me?” She let out a heartbreaking sob.

He rubbed her knee with his thumb, sending shivers up her spine.

“You did nothing wrong. It’s my fault. God, I’m such an asshole.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Rey. I’ve been wanting to tell you this for so long, but…. I didn’t know how. I guess I just thought you’d say no, and it would devastate me.”

“Ben. You know you can tell me anything. You know I’d never say no to you.”

He broke into that beautiful, beaming grin that was just for her. “Not this. This is the one thing I couldn’t tell you, but I guess now I have to. I tried so hard to let it go, to move on and carve out a new life for myself. But it was so hard to forget you Rey. Every time I passed by that ice cream shop – every time I went to see a movie – I thought of you. You’re sparkling eyes, your witty banter – how you hate anything by Orson Welles, how you scrunch up your nose when you laugh – how you always take a scoop of my ice cream, even though it’s the same flavor.”

She smiled. “Well I can’t help it if you eat so slowly.” They laughed together.

“Rey. You’re the most important person in my life. You have to know how much I love you.”

She wiped her nose. “I love you too Ben.”

“No, Rey. I _love_ you.”

Of all the things he could have said, this was the last thing she expected.

“You love me? _Me_?” He couldn’t possibly be saying the one thing she’d wanted to hear…

Could he?

“Rey, I know I’m an Alpha. I know everyone says that we can’t be together. I know what society expects from me. But fuck society. I want you. Every bit of you. Every day. I know I’m not nearly good enough for you. But I want to be.”

It was all too much. He couldn't possibly want _her_. 

As he stroked her hands, now resting in her lap, she told him, "Ben. You're wrong. It's _you_ who deserves better. I'm not an Omega. I'm never going to be. Aside from that, I'm not exactly the most feminine girl. I mean, I'm a mechanic and a bartender. There's no way I can just stay home and have babies and knit a bunch of blankets." She kept her gaze on their hands, too afraid to face him. 

Ben chuckled. "I have plenty of blankets. As far as babies go, I guess that's something we could work on, though, I'd like to have some time alone with you first."

She finally mustered the courage to look at him and wasn't disappointed. The moment her eyes reached his she believed him. But that didn't stop her from asking....

"There's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you just blow me off?" 

It took him a moment to answer. "I guess, I don't know. The first time we ever went out I tried hold your hand, but you brushed me aside. I was going to kiss you before I took you home, but you got out of the car so fast I could barely make an attempt." 

_Oh._

She'd been so blind to his affection. She was so stubborn, so self-loathing, that she refused to see it. 

That look in his eyes: it had always been there.

He continued: "I guess at that point I should have stopped seeing you. I knew it would be painful, but I couldn't do it. I wanted whatever part you would be willing to give. Even if it was just friendship."

She couldn't help the sad smile that crossed her face: "This is as much my fault as it was yours Ben. I'm sorry. I can see why you did what you did. Because I did the same thing. I shut you out when I should have just talked to you. Can you forgive me?"

He stood up, pulling her up with him, and brought her into his embrace. "Of course I do. Will you forgive me? Please?"

Rey pulled back and cupped his face. "Yes. I forgive you."

She saw his eyes flit from hers down to her lips, and her heart sped up.

Too eager to wait, she jumped up to kiss him, throwing her arms around his neck. She could hear his chest rumble lightly with laughter. 

When they broke apart, he smiled down at her, rubbing his hands slowly up and down her back. "I really love you Rey."

_Finally._

"I love you too."

He grabbed her hand, which she now willingly gave, and they walked back up to the house. But before they could make it to the porch, a movement on the side caught their attention. Ben ran up to the porch to turn on the floodlights. And there, hair disheveled with sheepish looks, stood Poe and Kaydel. Kaydel's pink lipstick was smeared over Poe's cheek, down the side of his neck. 

Poe cleared his throat, but before he could say anything Ben dismissed him. "It's okay. Don't stop on our account." 

Ben led Rey up to the front door, and they couldn't stop laughing. 

"Well," Rey began, "I guess that solves that problem. He never was able to stick with one Omega." 

As she went to go inside he stopped her. "Rey. After the party is over, will you come home with me? I mean you don't have to. We can always go get ice cream or something and call it a night."

She licked her lips. "Yes. I want to go home with you. And I can take it you know."

His brow furrowed. "Take what?"

Leaning up to his ear she whispered, "Your _knot_ , Alpha."

With no warning he picked her up and she had no other choice but to throw her arms around his neck. "Ben, where are you going? We have to go back inside! Finn and Rose...."

"We'll apologize later. I'm taking you home. _Now_." 

She giggled, and her heart beat in anticipation. This man, this Alpha, was _hers_. All her life she'd felt unworthy and unlovable. Like she was nothing.

But as he covered her body with his that night and held her eyes, she knew she'd never been nothing. Not to him. 

To him, she was everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> The Heiress is one of my favorite movies. In case anyone couldn’t tell by reading this lol.


End file.
